• Lesbo Rimjob

    Price: $34.95/Month

    Lesbo Rimjob calls itself a site where “Horny hotties can’t stop rimming their gorgeous girlfriends!” and judging by the tour pages, which are loaded with graphic depictions of tongues in asses, this enticing claim appears to be true. After spending a good long while meandering through the site in an attempt to unveil its positive and negative attributes, however, this reviewer can only say that Lesbo Rimjob licks ass in the most pejorative sense.

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  • Asian Sybian

    Price: $29.95/Month (Recurring) $34.95/Month (Single Month)

    While it’s fun to watch professional porn actresses ride the motorized dido-equipped masturbation saddle known as the Sybian, their exaggerated moans and obvious performances can get a little predictable. The cure? Asian Sybian, a site devoted to introducing smoking hot Thai sluts to the auto-electro-erotic pleasure of the infamous pussy-pounding, clit-rubbing device. Watch them slip onto the phallus with a smile on their faces! Watch them ride it to first gear, then to second! Watch the thrilling conclusion where their legs shake, their pussies quiver, and their dark eyes widen! They’re having so much fun and, with Asian Sybian, you can too.

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  • Creamed Cuties

    Price: $29.95/Month (Recurring) $34.95/Month (Single Month)

    Filling the mouth of a sexy, adorable woman with your drought-breaking ejaculatory deposit is, to most guys, the ultimate sexual release. Creamed Cuties is a site that knows this and features nothing but scene after scene of amateur babes getting their faces filled after sucking and fucking their boy-toy to an explosive orgasm. With 100 scenes available and eight bonus sites on offer, Creamed Cuties seems like it has a lot to offer the oral cumshot fan, but does it really? Mr. Pink is gonna find out!

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  • Feed Her Fuck Her

    Price: $2.99/3 Days-Limited $19.99/Month

    Taking a girl out to dinner before taking her home for "coffee" is the oldest trick in the pick-up playbook, but what does a gourmand playboy do when faced with a girl whose appetite for both food and sex is so large it's a little scary? If you ever find yourself in such a situation, you can always turn to Feed Her Fuck Her for advice. A site built around the combination of BBW models, hardcore sex, and food fetishism, Feed Her Fuck Her is as original as it is frustrating. With just fifteen scenes in its archive, scenes that are recycled as "new" updates, there's less of interest here than at your local Souplantation, where you can at least get your girl in free with a coupon.

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  • I Film Myself

    Price: $14.95/Month

    Put down that Forever 21 gift card, brother! There’s no need to bribe your female internet friends into showing tits or gtfo-ing; not when you’ve got I Film Myself, that is. I Film Myself, but one of the multitude of New Sensations (a.k.a.: Reel Pass) adult sites, offers “amateur honeys” taking it all off and entertaining themselves in that special, private way (masturbation, for those of you a little too dense to read between the lines) all for your personal enjoyment. But wait, what’s this? They’re not really amateurs? The site hasn’t updated since 2008? What gives? Read on, Pink-fan, and find out!

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  • Nasty Czech Chicks

    Price: $29.95/Month

    When you're a Czech girl with a comely demeanor and attractive physique, the temptation to be lured into an adult film production must be hard to resist. The promise of international stardom, traveling to exotic places, and fucking the studliest dudes in all of Eastern Europe must make it sound like a pretty sweet career proposition. The thing is, it'll likely turn out like Nasty Czech Chicks: somewhat enjoyable but largely disappointing and curiously inactive.

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  • HD Hentai Tube

    Price: $19.95/Month  

    Hentai seems to be increasing in popularity all over the world with every passing day. Here in the USA, it is often one of the main reasons for attending Otaku conventions; well, that and all the hot cosplayers. With well over a thousand scenes online, HD Hentai Tube promises to fulfill your every animated porn need. Unfortunately, with censored, low quality videos, no update information, and a weak navigation system, HD Hentai Tube largely fails to make a good impression and will probably be of interest only to those with an utterly insatiable appetite for watching cartoon chicks get viciously plugged by space monsters, battleship captains, teachers, strange white-eyed men, and whatever else the creators of this extremely weird smut have thought up. Everyone else, just walk on by.

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  • Butter Loads

    Price: $4.95/2 Days-Limited $29.95/Month

    Every time you experience an orgasm and unleash your pent-up seed, do you examine it in detail? Is it thick and heavy like unwhipped whipping cream or liquid and runny like 2% milk? Is it clumpy or smooth? Whatever the case, you can always turn to Butter Loads, a site so heavily loaded with ejaculate the webmasters had to recruit cum-hungry guys willing to get their faces splattered in the name of porn! Set up like an audition, the scenes held here go from introductory interviews with wannabe gay adult performers to blowjobs to ass-plugging sex before finally culminating in a smooth but weighty load that your surrogate butt-fucker unleashes all over the clean-shaven and stubbled faces of the gay pornstars of tomorrow, and is met with a lip-licking exclamation of "Yum! I can't believe it's not butter!"

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