With the bitterness of your last heated conversation still lingering on your breath, you recall your now-ex-girlfriend and ruminate on your payback possibilities. Needing, as usual, a calming “fap” you set your sights on Exploited Ex GF, a site filled with supposedly stolen photos of supposedly amateur women submitted by (supposedly) their ex-boyfriends. “What a humiliating, yet titillating way to honor a past relationship,” you think. “I just beat off to some guy’s slutbag cumdumpster of an ex and as soon as my upload is done, someone else will be beating off to mine.” Revenge, dear reader, is yours.
Porn is all-too-often a white girl’s game. African-American, Asian, Latina pornstars, as well as those from plenty of other nations, usually find themselves billed third or fourth behind the blonde-haired, blue-eyed All-American harlots that’ve become ubiquitous over the lifetime of the pornographic arts. Club 24 Main Street, however, seeks to change all that by presenting a plethora of beautiful women from all around the world. With names as diverse as Eva, Valentina, Thuy, and, uh, Sandee, there’s plenty of cross-cultural carnality inside Club 24 Main Street and you’d be mad to simply pass it by.
Today’s pornography often seems far too artificial to incite any genuine physical and psychosexual reaction in its audience. Pristinely pruned bodies showing no hair, sets cleaner than the dentists office, sex that’s good for display purposes only…that’s not porn. Mustachioed men with hairy chests and hairier balls fucking each other’s brains out – now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! Hot Gay Classics has reached back into an A/V time machine and pulled some of the best gay porn movies of all time (OF ALL TIME) out of the closet and onto your computer screen. Great job, fellas!
Unless you’re into being restrained, chained, and viciously punished by a dominatrix (or the male equivalent), you probably haven’t ever described a sexual experience as “beautiful agony”. If you follow my advice, though, you’ll soon know exactly why that descriptive terminology is so appropriately thrown at the human orgasm. You’ll watch thousands of faces belonging to both women and men as they experiencing the heights of self-pleasure and orgasm for you, but mostly for themselves. Where will you see all of this, you ask? At one of the ‘net’s most exciting, original, even groundbreaking adult websites and home to a world of masturbatory, orgasmic ecstasy, Beautiful Agony.
So you never get invited to any gala events and have no need of that tuxedo you bought on sale at Goodwill. Quit your cryin’ and man up! What kind of red-blooded male wants to go to opera premieres, a cruise liner launch, or the unveiling of some rare, long thought lost masterpiece by a great artist? Why not try to head to something like Assbangers Ball instead? The women are looser, the fluids flow more freely than champagne, and you’re guaranteed to get laid (albeit vicariously) here at Assbangers Ball. (Plus, the dress code is really lax.)
It seems that some women, usually those who embrace their inner whorishness, adore and crave the attention of many, many men. Well, I suppose it’s not always the men themselves, rather their cocks and what comes out of them. We’re talking jizz whores here and Jizz Whore Party is an online home to many, many women fitting this description. See them suck! See them fuck! See them lose track of who they’re sucking and fucking! See them get covered with enough creamy ejaculate to sink a kayak!
Having never participated in what is colloquially known as a “gangbang” - that is, three or more guys fucking one or two women - I find it difficult to imagine how one’s conduct might be guided by general rules of politeness and courtesy. Having seen the deep, dark, depraved, debaucherous sex shown at Gangbang Arena, a site that hosts (you guessed it) gangbang movies and photo galleries, I now know that you must be of a special breed to successfully gang someone’s bang. To learn more, might I suggest a) reading this review of Gangbang Arena, and b) considering a membership?
What are your sexual taboos, readers of Mr. Pink’s? Do you steer clear of flat-chested women, “fiery” (read: overly dramatic) redheads, and PMS-ing women of all kinds? Are you able to handle those lightweights and be willing to push your own boundaries into the world of bondage, domination, sadomasochism, latex catsuits, and miscellaneous other fiendish fetishes found at Hustler’s Taboo? Well, then, strap yourself to that big ol’ iron crucifix in the corner, ‘cause we’re about to have a little fun.