The site in question combines two of my favorite things: hard rock and glam rock! So, you’ve got bands like New York Dolls and T-Rex and The Sweet but don’t you wish they’d rock a little harder? More like MC5 or something! Yeah! Imagine Marc Bolan fronting MC5 or Phil Lynott writing songs for The Stooges. That’d be wicked! Oh…UK porn? Niche stuff and regular hardcore? Sounds all right, I guess… not as cool as Lynott and Iggy sharing the stage, but whatever.
Rejoice, gents! If you get off on watching big-dicked brothers take on lily-white sisters, you’ll no doubt get a kick out of I Need It Black. Problem is, said kick probably won’t last too long. There are simply too many negative aspects holding I Need It Black back from achieving its full potential.
Vivid: you know the name, now get the lowdown on the flagship website of the biggest porn company on the planet. Vivid dot com brings you Jenna Jameson, Lanny Barby, Tera Patrick, Sasha Grey, and Janine in hundreds of high-quality DVD titles. Unfortunately, no downloads are available, forcing you to view the streaming videos directly from your browser window. Will that huge drawback be enough to negate all the obviously positive attributes Vivid can rightfully claim?
If you, like a pal of mine that later turned into a major dickface, can’t stand to watch porn containing human penises, you’re probably a devoted fan of the girl-on-girl or lesbian niche. Les Archives should then take care of all your sapphic requirements, should it not? Well, dear reader, this site sure shows a lot of promise and contains some very good hardcore teen lesbian content, but there are still a few issues that need addressing. Wanna know what the are? Read on, weary solider, a poon-filled respite is just around the corner.
When one pert-breasted, well-endowed (penally speaking) transsexual hottie just isn’t enough and even two won’t cut it, why not gather up four lovely he-ladies and quadruple your pleasure with Wild Shemale Orgies. Sitting quite comfortably on the SheMax network of all-transsexual, all-hardcore adult sites, Wild Shemale Orgies gathers up four gorgeous shemales in each scene and presents them with an offer: fuck or walk. Not surprisingly, they all fuck, but not before indulging their flamboyant sides with a rousing game of Twister, foosball, or even a food fight. Talk about fun! (Oh yeah, there’s four-way dick-in-ass tranny train fucking, too!)
When a site calls itself Brutal Dildos, there’s no doubt as to what awaits curious visitors willing to throw down the membership fee and indulge. With almost 400 scenes are artificial-phallus-fucking starring some of Europe’s hottest, most decadent performers, Brutal Dildos proves that one woman can really be her own best friend and lover, just as long as she’s well equipped to deliver maximum phallic punishment that only a brutal dildoing can bring.
Dreaming of the natural splendor of rural Central Europe; the lush green pastures and crisp cascading spring water beneath your naked toes? Dreaming of falling into the long grass with an unclothed woman of incredibly natural beauty and spending hours exploring each other’s bodies? Erotic Dreams 4 You is the reality-based solution to your fantastical problem, friend. Well, it is if you don’t mind a few niggling setbacks like a lack of new updates.
Last time Mr. Pink’s published a review of Stroke That Dick, Next Door Studios’ token male masturbation site, things were looking fairly promising at the fledgling flesh merchant. The guys were hot, their dicks were hard, and you probably were, too. Nowadays, while much of the porn industry has moved on to High Definition video and almost constant updates, little has changed at Stroke That Dick. Where does that leave your favorite male masturbation site now?