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Banana Hotties61%
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Banana Hotties review

Category 18 - 24, Amateur, Europorn

Price

$29.99/Month

Take a cute Czech woman hell-bent on getting a modeling gig, a sleazy director with nothing but nudity and sex on his mind, and a curved phallic fruit with an easily-peeled yellow skin and you've got Banana Hotties. On a seedy back-room casting couch we meet the titular women and are introduced to their desire for fame and celebrity. Then they have sex. Or they don't. Maybe a banana is involved. Frankly, it's hard to tell exactly what Banana Hotties is aiming for, but unless it's shoddy amateurish porn that wouldn't give a viagra-addict a chub, it fails.

Score

Quality 6
Design 3
Navigation 3
Updates 8
Content amount 7
Money value 5
Downloadable videos 4
Exclusivity 10
Appeal 5
Overall Score 61

Videos

Number of movies 229+
Average length 20 Min.
Full length videos YES
DRM Protection NO
Streaming YES
Download Limits NO
Video format

MP4 (960x540)

Photos

Pic sets 0+
Pics per set
Zip sets NO
High res pics NO
Model Index NO
Watermarks YES
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Banana Hotties review | Mr. Pink's Porn Reviews
MrPinks.com review date - 10/24/2013

Overview:
Any adult website operating under a name like Banana Hotties is bound to cause some confusion among prospective members and other curious onlookers. But what the hell does Banana Hotties actually host? Do the girls use bananas as phallic implements of their self-administered pleasure or do they simply gorge on them for a sucrose kick before engaging in frenetic hardcore sex scenes? Is this a Big Sausage Pizza-style nonsense-fest that will have guys offering girls "a taste of [their] banana" only to present them with their own erect penises sheathed in a banana skin? If you take Banana Hotties at its word (and why wouldn't you?), the site offers "fresh and new amateur teens" that have "never done anything like this before." But what is it they'll be doing? As that boastful quote sits above a small video stream showing a young harlot taking it from behind with a gleeful grin, it seems they'll be having sex on camera. Hey, that's original! Come on, Banana Hotties, is that the best you can do to lure in new members? At a cost of $29.99 per month, membership to Banana Hotties is quite the mysterious proposition at this point. Why don't we endeavor to find out exactly what the hell this fruity site is all about?

Pros:
Essentially a back-room casting scenario, the typical Banana Hotties scene sees a young European woman enter, sit on a sofa, and respond to questions from her director. Conversation soon turns into carnality, though, and after peeling off their clothes, the girls perform everything from simple nude modeling to banana blowjobs to real blowjobs to straight intercourse.

Shot in an authentically amateur handheld style, Banana Hotties looks very much like what it purports to be, a sideline venture that came about when casting for another adult site. The casting process was saucy enough to warrant its own dedicated site and, well, here we are!

For girls apparently only auditioning, the titular Banana Hotties seem down to do pretty much anything. They'll just as soon fuck a piece of fruit as an available dick and even indulge in massages, foot fetishism, additional food play, vaginal and anal sex, facials, and group sex. What wildly ambitious Euro hotties they are!

Considering its decidedly low-rent design and shooting style, it's quite surprising to find Banana Hotties a fairly plentiful site. Already hosting 229 scenes, each one exclusive to this site, and adding two new scenes each week, Banana Hotties certainly has this "quantity" thing down.

Cons:
Banana Hotties offers quantity, yes, but not quality. Scenes are poorly shot and see the cameraman routinely letting the most crucial parts of a scene (i.e.: the facial in a facial scene, anal penetration in an anal scene) disappear from the frame. Either he's the one fucking the girl or he's a masturbation fiend who can't wait until he gets home to bust one out.

Add to this poor camerawork, the sets are drab and colorless and are not helped at all by the dreary lighting. What's more, videos peak at just 960x540 pixels resolutions and appear to have been up-converted from a lower size, and they're zipped for no apparent reason.

Apparently shot in Prague, Banana Hotties features Czech (and otherwise European) women speaking in Czech (and other European languages). There's often an on-set translator to help the English-speaking director understand what's going on and what the model is saying, but there's far too much poorly recorded dialog being thrown around in various languages for you to have a chance at understanding anyone well.

So what's the fucking deal with the whole banana thing? One in every ten or twelve scenes seems to incorporate a banana as a masturbation aid or conversation piece; rarely does it go anywhere or seem to have a purpose beyond giving those girls who refuse actual sex something to play with.

Conclusion:
Banana Hotties is one of those sites you really wish would man-up and do something with its ample potential. It's got Czech girls, many of whom are very attractive; it's got fruit; it's got a sofa; it's got a camera… what else do you need to make reasonably thrilling hardcore porn? Whatever it is, Banana Hotties hasn't managed to figure it out and spends 229 scenes fumbling through rather tepid casting scenes that turn hardcore as often as they don't. Videos are hazy and poorly lit and the set looks, well, let's just say it's authentically low-rent. Photos were promised on the tour pages but are nowhere to be found inside. And as for the bananas of the title, this is what the FAQ has to say: "We though bananas are cool and yellow, and teenagers like them… a really cool name!" Uh, yeah, ok. If you say so, Banana Hotties.

 

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