College Fuck Fest review

Intro:
There’s a chance that you, dear reader, went to college. Now, it might not be a good chance, but it’s a chance and I’m willing to bet that if you did indeed attend college, you probably think you had “The College Experience”™. Well, dropout, unless your out-of-class hours were spent pouring ice-cold Coronas over the naked breasts of mid-makeout sluts, you didn’t experience shit. Unless you woke up in the bread aisle long before Asher Roth did, you didn’t experience shit. Unless you at least once thought “man, life can’t get any better than this” (presumably because you were going down on that ridiculously hot TA, not giving a shit about flunking her class), you didn’t experience shit. “Well, fuck, you’re right, Mr. Pink, but it’s too late now. Why worry about it?” Just because you’ve left (not to say ‘graduated’) college doesn’t mean you can’t throw yourself headfirst into The College Experience™ one last time; after all, it worked for Will Ferrel and Luke Wilson in that Old School movie, so why can’t it work for you? Thankfully, College Fuck Fest is a website you can turn to; it shows you how to truly let loose and live up your college years (even if they’ve long since passed) and doesn’t only depict all the shenanigans I’ve outlined above, but more raucous, debacuherous, and generally lusty-as-fuck antics than you can shake a stick (of dried hemp, natch) at. It’ll cost you $29.97 to join; far less than a your required text books, let alone tuition, so let’s rip this joint, fuckers!

(“The College Experience”™ is a registered trademark of MTV/Viacom corp.)

Pros:
College Fuck Fest is the original party-porn site and, as such, is responsible for some of the funniest and most fun sexertainment in recent memory. We’ve reviewed a lot of these kinds of sites here at Mr. Pink’s, but nobody warrants your respect knuckles like College Fuck Fest. There’s shitloads of drinking, dancing, and general partying going on in these scenes...plus a filthy, filthy surprise a little later on.

If your college was attended by girls as hot as the ones at College Fuck Fest, you’d be a fool for ever leaving. Gorgeous young ladies with magnificent bodies (some a little too good to be true) that just ooze sex; that’s the kind of women college guys (and all other guys) like and they’re exactly the kind online here. (It also doesn’t hurt that they suck and fuck both guys and girls like ravenous whores!)

Your membership payment of almost thirty bucks might seem pretty steep, but the access you’ll receive to the All Elite Pass network more than makes up for any disappointment the initial down-payment might bring. With almost 100 sites on offer, ranging from basic hardcore and girl-on-girl action to cartoon sex, trannies, MILFs, amateur girlfriends, and celebrity nudes, there’s an incredible amount of content tucked away here.

Cons:
If you love sitting back and watching people party, you’re gonna love College Fuck Fest! Seriously, sometimes it seems that the sole purpose of this website is to show the zany parties you, dear reader, are missing out on and to make you feel even more like a social retard than you already did. Enough with the partying - yeah, yeah, I know it establishes a location and theme, but whatever. Bring on the fucking!

“When was the last time College Fuck Fest updated, Mr. Pink?” Well, sonny, it’s difficult to tell. Known as a content recycler, College Fuck Fest has dated all it’s recent updates, although there’s really no way to tell whether they’re genuinely new or older material that has simply been taken offline and re-upped at a later date. If, as I’m hoping, it is the former, new scenes arrive only once or twice a month. Bah.

For a site still holding content from 2000 (that’s ten whole Earth orbits ago), College Fuck Fest has somehow only managed to keep 117 scenes in the archive and at fairly meagre maximum resolutions, to boot! (720x480 pixel video resolutions, anyone? Anyone?) With such a paltry amount of material from a ten-year-old site, you have to wonder how frequently scenes are being rotated or recycled and whether you can rely on the webmasters to return to the only acceptable method of adding content: leave everything online and add new updates in accordance to an advertised schedule.

If you’re looking for genuine amateur college girls, you won’t find many of them here. Sure, Ashley Blue easily passes for a fairly everyday girl who might happen to be a psych major, but anyone who’s seen her turn in 7 the Hard Way knows she’s anything but. The same could easily be said of Micah Moore, Faye Reagan, and any of the other pros masquerading as amateurs.

Watch out for cross-sells on the on the join page. Plus, the trial option only offers limited access and rebills at a higher price, $39.97 per month.

Conclusion:
College Fuck Fest may be one of the originators of the party-porn style you now see all across the ‘net, but that doesn’t mean we should excuse content recycling, sluggish updates, an unreliable server, and misleading tour pages. The models are often highly recognizable pornstars; the scene setups rage on for too long; there’s far too little content online for a decade old site; all of these disappointments bring College Fuck Fest down to a level at which it should not be idling. There’s definite room for improvement in all of the aforementioned areas and if it doesn’t arrive soon, it could be worth writing College Fuck Fest off, just as you did your higher education.