Facial Fest review

If gender cliches are based largely in truth then each side of a new heterosexual relationship has but one major question on their mind as things start progressing past the ‘getting to know you’ phase. For women, it’s a rather serious and permanent fixation on whether this will lead down the aisle. For men, it’s a little less lifelong, but still rather sobering thought that crosses his mind: “Can I maybe, sorta, hopefully soon decorate this girl’s face with my spooge?” Facial ejaculatory deposits have somehow, possibly through the Internet-aided prevalence of pornography, wormed their way into the sexual psyches of plenty of American men and where better to turn for advice than one of the bro-ist of the Bang Bros, Preston Parker? The main driving force behind the ‘pump ‘em and dump on ‘em’ site Facial Fest, Mr. Parker welcomes girls new to the porn scene into his office, interviews them, tickles their tonsils, fucks them silly, then unleashes a rather impressive stream of ejaculatory juices all over their (usually) pretty faces. Some aren’t too fond of such a thoroughly organic facial cleanse, but most await his spunk eagerly and enjoy every part of this particular ride. To witness Mr. Parker and his vicious spurtle, you’d usually have to throw down $24.95 for a Facial Fest membership, but not while Mr. Pink’s on the job! Keep reading, fellow facial fan, for all sorts of juicy surprises.

Pros:
Facial Fest generally welcomes a new girl to the Bang Bros stable every week. Instead of opting for a tried and tested pornstar whore, Parker and his cronies instead prefer to induct a fresh-faced midwestern or shy southern girl into their model roster. These girls generally do a great job of taking Preston’s cock ‘n’ load, but they often appear nervous and a tad shy, which is really quite charming.

Although he’s not the only guy delivering messy cumshots in these Facial Fest scenes, Parker must be gobbling down zinc supplements and celery stalks like crazy - his loads are large and decorate the faces of these (mostly) eager young sluts very well indeed.

What’s the point of presenting extremely graphic facial cumshots if they’re only available in shitty-looking videos? Almost none, that’s why the Facial Fest crew have, along with the rest of the Bang Bros network, moved into 720p High Definition territory for both their streams and their downloads. Stunning videos here, folks!

Those who sign up for a Facial Fest membership through Mr. Pink’s will receive a discounted monthly rate of just $17.95; a saving of seven dollars! Network access is also on the cards and members will have 34 sites at their fingertips.

Cons:
Photographic presentations of facial ejaculations have the potential to be extremely popular and highly arousing, not so much when they’re stuck at a mediocre resolution of 800x530 pixels and don’t really look all that great; at least, not when compared to the brilliant videos.

Preston Parker might be a guy most of us would give their left nut to be, but he can also be kind of a prick. He’s can be quite dispresectful to the girls, insulting and debasing them. Man, that just ain’t cool.

You’ll occasionally find yourself staring at the POV of some guy that isn’t Mr. Parker - he’s probably off refilling his vitamin closet or picking out a new baseball cap at the local Lids - and is just another nameless bro from the Bang Bros supply. Replacement cum dumpers is probably fine with many of you, but consistency can never be overrated.

Not a fan of members’ area advertising? You’ll take issue with the Bang Bros network, then. Littered with banners and promo graphics pimping their own sites as well as those of third-parties, these ads can be frustrating and distracting.

Conclusion:
Given a site all his own on which to do whatever the hell he pleased, Bang Bros bro Preston Parker decided it should be 100% facial ejaculations 100% of the time. Good thing, too, since Facial Fest is a rousing journey through one man’s (plus some pals’) mission to splatter the faces of hot young pornstar wannabes with their semen. With HD videos that present everything beautifully, splendid use of the POV camera style, and a parade of girls eager to please their new employer, Facial Fest is sure to rock the world of any diehard countenance-based cumshot fanatic. Throw in a discount courtesy of Mr. Pink’s and access to the rest of the Bang Bros network and you’re looking at a real winner here, folks.