Pornostatic review

Mr. Pink’s review of Pornostatic
Review Date - 09/09/2011

Overview:
Now that both Oasis and Supergrass have ceased to exist, Lily Allen is “up the duff” and out of commission and Amy Winehouse has sadly shuffled off this mortal coil, British entertainment is, if you’ll forgive the pun, in dire straits. Never managing to eclipse the North American stranglehold on English-language pornography, British smut merchants Pornostatic have decided that now is the time to make their move. Launched mere weeks ago, Pornostatic already offers nine exclusive websites packed with original adult productions of a highly explicit and irreverent nature. Sites with names like Choose MILF, Fucktoria’s Angels, Stripped to the Bone, and Picking Up the Trash give us an immediate inkling of what lies inside the members area. Getting in will cost you $29.95 a month, but with promises of HD videos, high-resolution photos, high speed downloads, and “the best porn in the UK”, Pornostatic looks like it could be the site to pose a legitimate threat to the US-controlled porn industry. How soon, dear reader, is now?

Pros:
The nine mini-sites Pornostatic provides access to offer a wide range of hardcore content: Honeys with Big Hooters, Glorious Holes, and Choose MILF are fairly self-explanatory; The Ethnic Majority offers interracial scenes starring the immigrant women of the UK; Picking Up the Trash is a public exhibitionism site; Dirty Changing Rooms offers fantasy fetish outfits; Stripped to the Bone is a radical take on the CFNM niche; Cocks & Dolls is a rock and roll fuckfest; Fucktoria’s Angels features decadent lingerie-clad babes.

Pornostatic’s models are, in some ways, similar to the American women you’ve no doubt thrashed it to for years. These mostly British broads are, however, a bit rougher around the edges (in the best sense) and throw themselves into the debaucherous, decadent scenes with wild abandon.

Videos hosted by Pornostatic reach 640x360 pixels - not an overly impressive resolution, sure, but they still look quite clear and vibrant and have clearly been shot on an HD source. Photo content, however, reaches a brilliant 4256x2832 pixel resolution and offers a huge amount of detail in each frame. De-lish!

Pornostatic, which updates daily, presents a uniquely British take on hardcore porn. Offering such intriguing acts as “dogging” (public debauchery of a usually oral, ejaculatory nature), smoking, rock & roll-themed setups, and a decidedly punk flavor to many scenarios, as well as referencing Sex Pistols, council estates, and TV’s Top Gear with thick, regional British accents, Pornostatic is one of the British Empire’s strongest XXX efforts to date.

Those of you interested in checking out Pornostatic can now do so at Mr. Pink's discounted monthly price of just $14.95 instead of the usual $29.95. Damn, that's cheap! If you're still a bit cautious to drop fifteen quid on a site this exciting, there's always a $1-a-day trial membership. Beware, though, it rebills at $29.95 and can catch you with your knickers down!

Cons:
Videos do not appear to be available at the promised HD resolutions and reach just 640x360 pixels. These videos sure are a far cry from the 720p and/or 1080p frames touted on the tour pages. Hopefully the clearly HD-shot videos will soon be upgraded to a proper HD resolution.

While it could be seen as a nine-site network, Pornostatic is in actuality one large site with nine different divisions. As a result of this, or perhaps other factors, Pornostatic currently only holds 160 scenes. That’s a pretty solid collection for a single site of barely three-months, but for nine it’s not so hot. With daily updates, though, that’ll soon change.

After selecting a scene and hitting its dedicated page, the streaming version of said scene immediately starts playing. While this will surely please some users - namely those who stream, stream, stream and can’t be effed with downloads - others will be annoyed at the inconvenience of having to stop the stream before doing anything else.

Every page of the update listing features the same 490x400 pixel advertisement for a celebrity nudes site and, while the ad itself offers a very attractive view of Kelly Brook’s delightfully round derriere, its presence is obnoxious.

Conclusion:
Having only launched two months prior to the writing of this review, it’s fairly safe to say Pornostatic is off to a wonderful start. Hosting an exclusive archive of original British hardcore productions starring the UK’s bustiest, MILFiest, trampiest, and quite simply hottest lasses, the nine mini-sites presented by Pornostatic are uniquely British XXX treats. The promised High Definition videos have not yet been added to the site and members are stuck with good-looking, but not great-looking 640x360 resolution MP4s. Photos, however, are presented at brilliant high resolutions that offer a solid level of detail throughout the frame and show the stunningly lascivious models in a sultry, sexy light. While there are certainly a few improvements to be made around Pornostatic, it’s hard to argue with the racy, raunchy hardcore content. For such a site mega-site, there are surprisingly few reasons not to throw your money and masturbatory energy behind Pornostatic!