Simon Scans review

Although we’ve clashed with them over many issues in our long, deep relationship, the British have always somehow managed to throw a few prime pieces of ass America’s way. Whether it’s Kate Winslet getting starkers for James Cameron and Leo DiCaprio in The Incredible Sinking Boat Movie or Nigella Lawson teaching us that sometimes it really is rather arousing to watch a woman stuff her face with food, sometimes an Englishwoman is just exotic and enticing enough to help us forget our usually favored diet of girls-next-door and blonde Hollywood bombshells and instead opt to ogle a transatlantic tart. Simon Scans is a website devoted entirely to the young women of the United Kingdom, in all their naked, amorous glory. Hosting both photo and video collection dating back ten years, with the newest additions offering the highest possible image quality, or so it is claimed, Simon Scans is one of the most enticing all-Brit erotica websites currently in operation. At $29.99 per month, membership isn’t exactly cheap, but it’s certainly less expensive than a weekend in London, trying your luck picking up girls at pubs. And you won’t have to put up with warm beer.

Pros:
The 600-plus models featured at Simon Scans are likely the reason most members sign up. With this many incredibly gorgeous women sitting before his camera, Simon, the owner and operator of Simon Scans, captures the best of England’s many beautiful women, showcasing their obvious physical assets and capturing their sexualities very well.

The photography shown here is brilliantly clear and vibrant. Touching mostly on the more glamourous end of erotic photography, the shots always flatter the models a great deal and present their bodies as glistening, undulating morsels of carnal possibilities. Photo resolutions now near 2000x3000 pixels and look fantastic.

Videos, too, are of a generally impressive quality and now reach a resolution of 1280x720 pixels or 720p HD. Presenting these softcore and solo hardcore scenes clearly and with class and eroticism, Simon has managed to inject some vivid carnality into what are, on other similar websites, often rather plain and boring videos.

With almost 4,000 galleries already online, and close to 450 videos, there’s quite a lot of softcore and solo hardcore smut to enjoy here at Simon Scans and, if you fancy European babes who aren’t all Nordic and untouchably exotic, these English lasses will do your tired eyes a great service.

Cons:
Site design might look quite charming, but it is ultimately just a pretty facade missing quite a few navigational features. Members are offered very few browsing options and will soon find themselves frustrated at having to scroll down needlessly lengthy pages in order to sample various scenes and galleries.

The video archive is very poorly presented here, with just two methods of viewing the archive available: alphabetically by model name and chronologically. Unfortunately, both are presented in single page lists that take too long to load and are more difficult to navigate than they should be. Compared to the much larger photo collection, the video archive seems quite small and many models are not featured in any video content at all.

Models are unfortunately left as nothing but visual beings, with nothing in the way of detailed profiles, biographical information, or interviews. With women this gorgeous, you’d think Simon would want to spend as much time as possible in their company, gathering as much information as he can and delivering it to Simon Scans’ members.

Conclusion:
Presenting quite a solid collection of exclusive photo and video content featuring some of the United Kingdom’s most desirable women in various states of undress and self-pleasure, Simon Scans has long been on Mr. Pink’s list of sites deserving detailed, honest assessment. The models might be breathtaking and very natural, but they’re under-presented here with no bios or profiles to help us members get to know them better. Photos and video both look very good at high resolutions, but these could be a bit higher, and should be if Simon Scans hopes to compete on an even playing field with so many other great Erotica sites. Still, you rarely find erotica sites that focus on anyone but exotic Eastern European beauties, so the more natural, everyday British girls featured here are a welcome surprise. Should Simon Scans make any changes, let’s just hope they focus on increasing image resolution, although it is already very good, and redesigning the website so that we can enjoy this exceptional, original, high quality erotica all the more easily.