Splat Bukkake review

Splat Bukkake review - MrPinks.com
Mr. Pink's Porn Reviews - 10/21/2011

Overview:
Everyone learned about onomatopoeia back in school, right? These words representing sounds (sizzle, fap, queef etc) are very rarely used in porn; why not? They make an emphatic point and allows readers to immediately associate an action with, say, the title of a DVD in a more direct, tangible way. Take today’s review subject, Splat Bukkake, for example. Were it titled “Messy Bukkake” you’d have to consider a purely visual scene. With the addition of “Splat” you immediately understand the force, the texture, the feeling, and of course the sound of the gooey loads as they hit the faces of their intended targets, in this case the most cum-hungry women in the United Kingdom. Splat Bukkake offers facial fans a chance to witness some of the messiest, nastiest oral gangbang scenes this side of the Sea of Japan. Priced at $29.99 a month, a Splat Bukkake membership gives you complete access to this exclusive archive of spunk-spewing, face-smearing group activity, with each scene starring an amateur Brit or professional model or pornstar getting their faces plastered with load after load of gooey man-goop. Sure, some folks might object to watching porn in which the focus is partially on ejaculating penises, but the oral gangbang aficionados out there should at least consider giving Splat Bukkake a closer look.

Pros:
Splat Bukkake presents its members with an exclusive collection of oral gangbang orgies that have one, two, sometimes even three or four whores stroking and sucking (and sometimes fucking) a barrage of horny guys to messy completion. While the guys generally don’t blow around the same time, there’s plenty of jizz flying over faces here.

If you want messy, you’re in the right place! Splat Bukkake doesn’t just mess up the faces of the wanton cum-guzzlers starring in its scenes, it does everything in a rough-and-tumble style that oozes unabashed and frenetic sexual energy.

Splat Bukkake’s photo galleries offer two viewing options, 1280x850 and 800x531 pixels, and give you good views of the women both avant and aprés cum-dumping. All galleries can be viewed online manually or via a slideshow and zip files for both low and high-res options are available.

New updates are added to this exclusive collection of face-splattering scenes every four or five days, keeping the 91 existing scenes in good company. All members also receive free access to a huge 3,000 scene collection of bonus hardcore scenes culled from the best porn studios in the world.

Cons:
Not only does Splat Bukkake host content that is styled and shot as if it were the late-90s or early-2000s, but the weak video resolutions (640x480 and 320x240 pixels) seem to confirm that, yes, this content has been sitting around for quite a while and, compared to newer stuff shot by the sites competitors, doesn’t look so hot.

There are plenty of thoroughly arousing accents from various parts of the United Kingdom but it seems most of them featured on Splat Bukkake are not in possession of such verbal aphrodisiacs. “Cuhmoon, spoonk un mah fayz! Nohw, nowt en mah oiyz!” Not much of a turn on, is it?

Scenes are generally too hastily edited, especially when multiple women are participating. Too frequent cutting from one performer to another or from one point in time to another makes each episode feel like an assemblage of the best (though not to say great) clips from a much, much longer performance. This editing style is very disruptive.

Peculiar happenings occur quite frequently in Splat Bukkake scenes. A barrage of camera flashes almost blinding one girl; another noticeably backing away when some guy tries to put his hand in her mouth; one guy jerks off with an elastic band holding a key wrapped around his wrist, the key jiggling around as she strokes; another guy has a long towel draped over this shoulders that obscures his cumshot and the girl’s reception thereof. As I said... peculiar.

Conclusion:
Those Brits sure know how to keep things messy. Splat Bukkake is, like every bukkake site must be, a messy, messy affair, though not always in a good way. The scenes themselves are rather shoddily editing in a way that cuts quickly from one action or participant to the next, then back again, removing fluidity and naturalism from an already somewhat unapproachable sexual activity. Videos are presented at a maximum resolution of just 640x480 pixels and do not look at all comparable to what many other sites are now offering. True to its name, though, Splat Bukkake does deliver almost a hundred cum-spurting scenes of facial decoration that fans of true gritty amateur smut of the most hardcore nature will surely appreciate, and with updates landing every four or five days, there’s only going to be more jizzbombs flying around Splat Bukkake the longer you stick around.