Third Movies review

Every porn site must have some kind of shtick if it’s going to stand out from the teeming thousands of other porn production companies making a go of it on the Internet and Third Movies (a.k.a.: 3rd Degree Movies) is no exception. Strangely, though, Third Movies doesn’t really seem to have much of a distinct, unique personality, perhaps because it’s so closely tied to two other prominent sites that are both well-known and well developed brands, Zero Tolerance On Demand, and Black Ice - the former is a notable porn studio, the latter is the same studio’s African-American offshoot. Where, then, does that leave Third Movies? Well, the tour pages suggest it’s a large site loaded with exclusive hardcore content starring the top cocksuckers and pussy-pounders in the business - check out Jenna Haze’s asshole getting stuffed right there next to the Third Movies logo! The letters H and D are bandied about and there’s a rough readiness that arises from both the previews and the general feel of the site and its grungy design. Is Third Movies aiming to be your favorite destination for harder hardcore or did it just hire a flannel-wearing, Alice in Chains-listening designer? It would normally cost you $29.95 to find out, but with Mr. Pink on job, we’ll have your brain filled with all kinds of Third Movies factoids and figurinos sooner than you can say “thisistheofficialwebsiteofthirddegreeadultfilmsandgoddamnitlookstasty!”

Pros:
While perhaps not on the same level as Zero Tolerance, 3rd Degree Adult Films is still a stellar production entity that produces A-grade hardcore porn that touches upon most of the popular niches - anal, double penetration, facials, teen, MILFs, et al - with high production values and great camerawork.

Any porn site would be extremely proud to have a roster of performers as strong as Third Movies’. You’ll find rising stars like Katie St. Ives, Melanie Rios, and April O’Neil next to MILFs like Julia Ann and such legends as Jenna Haze and Eva Angelina, all looking fantastic, fit, and ready to fuck their brains out.

The Third Movies tour page promised HD content and the members area, I’m pleased to say, delivered. MP4s are provided in High Definition resolutions of 1920x1080 and 1280x720 pixels, and there are also WMV, iPod, and streaming options to suit every viewing preference.

With a total archive of more than 300 DVDs and 2,000 individual scenes, Third Movies is already a huge serving of hardcore porn, but with the added bonus of free access to both Zero Tolerance and Black Ice Pass, your membership (which will cost only $19.95 if you join through Mr. Pink’s) gives you access to an incredible collection of top-notch porn.

Cons:
Recently, someone over at Zero Tolerance HQ decided it would be a good idea to fully integrate their three websites, Third Movies, Zero Tolerance On Demand, and Black Ice Pass. Unfortunately, the subsequent redesign of the network makes it harder than ever to breezily browse content from one site only, in this case Third Movies.

Although the HD content now makes up for more than half the video collection, it’s still disappointing to find so many comparatively unfortunate-looking scenes online here at Third Movies. Perhaps a remastering of this older content would bring it closer to, if not on par with, the brilliant HD scenes.

Contrary to the claims made on Third Movies’ tour pages, not all of the sites content is exclusive. You’ll occasionally find entire DVDs that have been licensed to third-party online distributors who then host the same scenes, although rarely in HD formats; Videobox is a prime example.

Third Movies doesn’t appear to value consistency and reliability, and sports an update “schedule” that seems rather loosely tossed together. New scenes can arrive on the homepage daily (though it never lasts very long) or it could be five, seven, nine, twelve days between updates; you just have to wait and see.

Conclusion:
There’s nothing worse than a good site that rests too heavily on its laurels and doesn’t bother upgrading or refining its content, style, and form. Third Movies certainly isn’t such a site, but it does, in fact, suffer from a few issues brought about by the webmasters’ ambitions to improve. Most notably, a network-wide redesign has put Third Movies fans in the equally thrilling and infuriating position of having to rifle through everything available on the network or manually deselect the sites they’re not interested in. This might seem like a drag, dear readers, but any site with that issue as its most pressing problem is a site that is doing extremely well for itself. Third Movies hosts a large frequently-updated collection of some of today’s most thrilling porn, and it does it near-perfectly; near-perfectly enough, I’m sure, to tickle every viewer in that special spot.