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Unlocked Profiles review

Category 18 - 24, Amateur

Price

$1.02/3 Days-Limited

$34.95/Month

Now that social networking has overtaken the real world, it shouldn’t surprise anyone to find that it took over the porn industry long ago. Nobody cares about pornstars anymore unless they constantly post their tits on Twitter. Nobody cares about amateurs anymore unless their photos and videos have been collected from their hacked Facebook accounts and stolen SD cards. Unlocked Profiles claims to have collected such content and is willing to show you every slipped nipple, pierced labia, moist asshole, and messy facial, but it’ll cost you.

Score

Quality 7
Design 6
Navigation 8
Updates 9
Content amount 8
Money value 6
Downloadable videos 5
Exclusivity 3
Appeal 5
Overall Score 67

Videos

Number of movies 1053+
Average length 7 Min.
Full length videos YES
DRM Protection NO
Streaming YES
Download Limits NO
Video format

WMV (640x480)

MP4 (640x480)

Photos

Pic sets 1349+
Pics per set 20
Zip sets YES
High res pics YES
Model Index NO
Watermarks YES
Visit this site

You’re browsing a list of your Facebook friend’s friend when you come across a profile picture that causes a stirring in your loins. She’s a 20-something “alt” chick with a pierced lip, dyed black hair, and incredible cleavage adorned with some elaborate chest tattoo. You click on her image hoping to find more shots, possibly of an even more enticing nature. Drat. Her profile is private. You hunt around for a Facebook hacking tool and find that they’re all useless and loaded with trojans. What to do, dear reader. What to do. Unlocked Profiles claims to successfully hacked the Facebook, MySpace, Friendster, Flickr, and Photobucket accounts of similarly hot girls and brought them all together in one place just for you and your prying eyes. It’ll cost you a whopping $34.95 for one month of access, but if the tour page tells no lies, you’ll be in for one hell of a wild ride. From simple stripping photos to balls-to-the-wall fucking, the content here is spread across both softcore and hardcore styles and looks, well, rather slick for what is supposed to be of a genuinely amateur nature. (Is that Tera Patrick I see? Andi San Dimas?)

Pros:
With more than 1,300 galleries and 1,000 videos, Unlocked Profiles holds a great deal of content. While there are some exclusivity and authenticity issues, it’s great to have such a huge and regularly updated (multiple times daily) collection of amateurish smut.

Solid navigation options give you breathing room while browsing and allow you to view the following main sections: Pictures, User Submitted Pictures, Movies, User Submitted Movies, Home Made [sic] Movies, Cam Recorded Girlfriends, Bonus Feeds, and a handful of other user-end feature areas.

Unlocked Profiles’ galleries offer plenty of very high-resolution images that bring a great amount of detail to your screen. Often reaching such illustrious heights as 1600x1067, these images look stunning for amateur content; almost too stunning.

If the huge Unlocked Profiles archive isn’t enough for you, you’ll also have at your fingertips about a dozen video feeds and ten bonus websites that range from upskirt flashing and all-girl drunken debauchery to handjobs, cumshots, and 3D hentai porn.

Cons:
A large amount of the content is quite obviously not of an amateur nature. Plenty of pornstars (Missy Monroe, Andi San Dimas, Chloe James, Tera Patrick, Alyssa Hall et al), some under assumed names, appear in Unlocked Profiles scenes and galleries. Not only does this negate the supposedly completely amateur nature of the site, it can make it difficult to find their pro content elsewhere. After all, not everybody has the encyclopedic knowledge of pornstars I do.

Although there are many galleries containing high resolution images, plenty of others fail to offer anything remotely impressive in that regard. Resolutions regularly falter around 400x320 pixels and lack detail. Videos also suffer from low resolutions: the lackluster 640x480 res being the top.

The content available here at Unlocked Profiles appears to be not at all exclusive. In fact, a quick look at its sister site, Ex Girlfriend Sluts, shows many a repeated gallery and scene; so lazily duplicated, in fact, that watermarks on Unlocked Profiles often read Ex Girlfriend Sluts.

At $34.95 a month, Unlocked Profiles is one expensive site. Whether this is due to a large overhead, greediness, or a desire to create an emergency legal fund to counter the inevitable copyright infringement lawsuits from Facebook, Flickr, MySpace and the like (their logos are shown on the tour page plenty of times) or cease-and-desist orders from the handful of genuine amateur whose images are quite probably being used without compensation.

Conclusion:
If Unlocked Profiles wasn’t so heavily loaded with content that, regardless of its origin, was pretty damn hot, it would be an extremely disappointing experience. “What else matters but the content?” you might ask, and you’d be right to. Well, what about authenticity, value for money, exclusivity, and consistent image quality? All of these are areas in which Unlocked Profiles fails quite miserably. If you have $34.95 burning a hole in your pocket and simply don’t give a fuck who it goes to and for what purpose, sure, you might wanna check out an Unlocked Profiles membership, but I wouldn’t advise it.

 

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