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Vintage Classic Porn
Vintage Classic Porn
Vintage Classic Porn

Vintage Classic Porn review

Category Retro - Vintage, Video Sites

Price

$27.73/Month

Calling itself “the secret hiding place of granddad’s secret pictures and movies”, Vintage Classic Porn shows you what folks used to beat off to before the existence of downloads, streaming sites, and slutty Twitpics from tattooed, bleached-blonde, artificially enhanced pornstars. The women shown in Vintage Classic Porn’s movies and videos from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, an 80s range from retiring mademoiselles to confident, empowered women and the content mixes great retro softcore with exciting hardcore that proves that, yes, porn was somehow sexier without all the gloss and sheen of contemporary productions.

Score

Quality 6
Design 8
Navigation 8
Updates 9
Content amount 8
Money value 8
Downloadable videos 7
Exclusivity 3
Appeal 8
Overall Score 75

Videos

Number of movies 438+
Average length 5 Min.
Full length videos YES
DRM Protection NO
Streaming YES
Download Limits NO
Video format

WMV (720x548)

WMV (320x240)

Photos

Pic sets 504+
Pics per set 30
Zip sets YES
High res pics NO
Model Index NO
Watermarks YES
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Young folks these days: they think nobody ever touted bi-curious androgyny before Lady Gaga, that there was a time when books had to printed on paper, and they seem to be under the mistaken impression that there was no worthwhile porn before Brazzers, Bang Bros, Reality Kings, and 1080p High Definition MP4 files. Don’t they know about “the roaring 20s”? That’s right, brothers and sisters, adult entertainment is as old as the pictorial arts themselves. Whether a 16th century painting of a nude woman by Giorgione or a 1930s silent hardcore film, there’s evidence of what could be construed as porn going back much further than most people would expect. Vintage Classic Porn might not reach the High Renaissance, but the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s are all open game to this compendium of, well, vintage and classic pornography. Costing members $27.73 (converted from €19.95), Vintage Classic Porn delivers a mix of hardcore and softcore photos and videos that is sure to please the historically curious porn fan. Be careful, though, ‘cause you might find yourself unknowingly beating off to your 20-something grandmother, making thanksgiving all the more interesting.

Pros:
As you’d expect from a site called Vintage Classic Porn, what you’ll find inside the members area is a thoroughly varied and detailed account of what used to only be available under the counter in brown paper bags. From 40s pin-up photos to 70s swinger home movies, and with plenty of intriguing stops in between, there’s a healthy range of content available here in both hardcore and softcore styles, in photo and video formats.

Updates are currently being added every day to the sites already substantial archive of around 500 photo galleries and 500 videos. Alternating between a new gallery and a new scene, both archives will continue to grow at a very healthy and even rate.

Content looks very good, especially for its age. Without putting tens of thousands of dollars into 4K transfers of the restored film negatives, you can’t expect much better than the 720x548 pixels available in these scenes and the 600x800 pixel photos held in the galleries.

A strong navigation system goes a long way to making a site enjoyable and Vintage Classic Porn does very well in this area. Not only is the site beautifully designed in an attractive faux-vintage design, but members are given good browsing options that span all represented decades and niches.

Cons:
Content quality is always dependent on the source material and when that material has been produced long before the advent of High Definition videos and 24 MegaPixel digital SLR cameras you can be sure it’s not the greatest quality.

The very poor performance of Vintage Classic Porn’s servers can make browsing, downloading, and especially streaming a tedious and frustrating process. It’d be great to see stronger servers take hold of this extremely interesting material, delivering it to your screen in an expedient fashion.

At €19.95 a month, membership costs will vary for non-European users according to the fluctuating international economy. Whichever way you look at it, though, Vintage Classic Porn is definitely not an inexpensive site.

With little information available for each scene or gallery, you’ll be left wondering where the content originated from; is it American, British, French, German; was it shot on 8mm, 16mm, 35mm film; where and for what audience was it originally made available?

Conclusion:
When you watch as much porn as I do, but in a purely recreational way, it’s inevitable that at some point you’ll become bored with the same faces sucking the same cocks, gulping down the same loads dripping on the same tits. There might be hundreds upon hundreds of professional porn performers currently working in this country along, but there’s surprisingly little variation. Heading back to the 20s and 30s, though, you’ll find women you never expected to see engaging in hardcore sex before a camera. These delightful maidens of yesteryear are represented quite well here on Vintage Classic Porn, a substantially sized website dealing exclusively in porn both softcore and hardcore made prior to the late-80s. With plenty of good looking videos and photos that are obviously limited by the source material and won’t be reaching HD resolutions anytime soon, there’s a lot of enticing retro smut to enjoy here at Vintage Classic Porn and you shouldn’t get too lost roaming around the well designed website. The servers are slow and definitely need some beefing up, which is easily the most frustrating issue Vintage Classic Porn members will have to deal with, after finding almost thirty bucks to get themselves inside, that is. All in all, this is far more interesting than Grandpa’s slide nights, and a hell of a lot more arousing.

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