Intro:
All Elite Pass is a porn network, that much is obvious from the get-go, but is it a porn network that can stand up there with the best of them, deliver hardcore material to waiting basement-dwellers in a quick, consistent, effective fashion? In short, is All Elite Pass - a network that offers access to 60 websites that cover such notable niches as nude celebrities, African-American lesbians, ex-girlfriends, insatiable middle-aged mothers, and more – truly one of the elite? The tour page promises not only the previously mentioned 60 websites but 4000 DVD titles, 1000s of hours of streaming content, all of which is allegedly 100% exclusive – and all for $29.97 a month, too. Is this a primo deal, porn fans, or yet another ruse pulled on you, the hapless consumer? Come along with Mr. Pink (that’s me) as I dive into the cybernetic bowels of All Elite Pass and see what’s up.

Pros:
- With more than 60 websites currently gracing the network’s homepage, you’ve got a shitload of niches to choose from, friend. MILF fans alone can rifle through more than half-a-dozen websites all catering to that particular style of porn. Among others, you’ll find cartoon renderings of Family Guy characters fucking each other, teens stripping off when Daddy’s away at a football game, gagging deepthroats, brutal assfucks, gay (yep, ‘homosexually gay’, not ‘happy gay’) movies, interracial sex, ass licking, baseball-playing “bitches”, and a whole lot more.

- The cartoon sites – GoGo Celeb, Radgasm – and the celebrity sites – GoGo Celeb (again), Banned Celebs, Celeb DeFamer – offer some fairly amusing and quite bizarre adult entertainment, ranging from Daredevil spanking Elektra and Chun Li getting railed by M. Bison’s giganto-cock to the latest “pokies” shot of Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie’s newest nude scene. (Yes, images and videos from Hackers are online, too.)

- Updates arrive pretty damn frequently here at All Elite Pass. Recent days have seen up to five new items uploaded to the network. While that might not seem like very much when you’re analyzing a single site (most update weekly or bi-weekly), it sure makes for a lot of smut for your average All Elite user.

- A handful of new sites have recently been planted in All Elite Pass’ fertile cyber-soil. Concerning the growing social networking phenomenon, sites like Emo Teen Sluts, Exposed Fuckbook, Me and My GFs, GF-Pass offer a relatively new kind of amateur porn in style that often claims to be self-portraiture and is a welcome change from the blandness of old.

Cons:
- Updates, however frequently they may seem to arrive on certain days, are still quite unreliable. Some days will see five or even six new items make their way online; other days will welcome a meager pair. It’d be great if All Elite Pass could arrange a more regular schedule so that fans will start checking in multiple times a day instead of once a week.

- The supposed exclusivity of much of All Elite Pass’ content is suspect. Watermarks often contradict the site you’re viewing from, clueing you into the scenes’ real origins and you’ve probably seen a number of these sites operating as separate on-networked sites that, for one reason or another, have now decided to incorporate themselves into a larger whole.

- Looking at the numbers, you’d think every site would be overflowing with content. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The vast majority of material (especially photos and screencaps) is held on Banned Celebs, a huge archive of celebrity nude and sexy pictures and videos.

- Video and image quality differs wildly from site to site, with some (like GF-Pass and Riley Rebel) routinely feature images over 1000px and videos that come very close to HD resolutions. If this high standard could be held up across all sites, All Elite Pass would definitely be well onto its way of true elite status. Instead, videos at 320x240 pixels (the maximum resolution available on a handful of sites) bring the whole network down.

- I've had a hell of a time trying to download videos. I'm not a patient man so All Elite Pass really had my nuts all up in a bunch. All Elite Pass really need to invest in a new server or switch hosting companies.

Conclusion:
I tip my hat to you, webmasters of All Elite Pass. You presumably started out with an audacious plan involving almost every conceivable variety of pornography and set out to make a network that would appeal to and provide for almost anyone. Well, folks, you did it, but there are still some problems. As outlined in the Cons section above, All Elite Pass updates in an unreliable fashion, causing confusion and frustration when everything should be blissfully straightforward. There’s also so much content that even the most well-oriented member can get severely lost from time to time, ending up deep in the depths of Gay HD instead of staring at Riley Rebel’s perky little titties. With a redesign, a tighter update schedule and possibly a new server, All Elite Pass would garner ‘two boners up’ from this critic, instead it will have to mire in the ‘good, not great’ category; at least for now.