Overview:
Behind the scenes in the Total Super Cuties dot com boardroom:
“What should we call the site, dude?”
“I don’t know… what’s on it?”
“Really cute chicks, man!”
“Well how about…something about cuties, I guess.”
“How about Total Super Cuties!?”
“Whatever. Do you want the Big Montana combo or a Beef ‘n’ Cheddar combo? I’ve got customers waiting.”

I don’t want to be too harsh on the Total Super Cuties webmasters, but the amount of thought they put into their name is probably about the same amount they put into their tour page. The Total Super Cuties tour area is woefully undercooked, with an unappealing page design, awkward layout, and sparse assortment of content previews. You do find out, though, that there are over 140,000 images online, along with 330 movies and 56 models, all the models are between the ages of 18 and 23, and the site was last updated today! From the outset, the girls do look like, well, total super cuties. Very few sites have a model roster that’s this consistent, so perhaps the quality of babes can render the site’s design flaws and navigational traps insignificant.

Last time we looked at Total Super Cuties, the design of the members’ area was so unfortunately drab that I proposed the webmasters hire a Korean fresh out of design school to rework it for a US Visa. Well, folks, I’m pleased to say that said theoretical wunderkind is now not only living somewhere Stateside but has probably met and hit on at least a couple of the totally super cute models he gawks at all day. That is to say, the design and navigation system has been reworked and looks much, much better than it used to. Members are now treated to displays showcasing featured models, a movies section, proper update details (three or four updates per day), and a pictorial listing of all models currently included in the archives. The girls cover a fair variety of body types and styles, ranging from blonde cheerleader types, to busty raven haired Mediterraneans, to skinny hipster girls, to sassy military brats.

To begin checking out the content, simply look up and down the collection of thumbnail-sized model portraits and pick whomever you think is totally the super-cutiest. The type of content each girl participates in is displayed beneath her name – non-nude, hand-bra, topless, nearly nude, nude, girl/girl etc. – and shows you just how heavily the site leans towards non-nude material. When most sites aim for the hardest, heaviest content possible, it’s actually a nice relief to find a site that prefers to be suggestive rather than excessively explicit in their delivery. Do you want to see videos or photos? Click on Picture Updates or Video Updates (when available) beneath the girls name to decide.

The photo galleries were another section of the site that saw a redesign; they now look much cleaner and organized than before. You’ll find thumbnail images representing each gallery from your chosen model, with links to View Gallery, Slideshow, and Zip Download next to these pics (beneath the gallery’s title). Inside the gallery, thumbnails are laid on the page and provide you with access to photos that reach a resolution of either 800x600 or 1280x1024 pixels (you pick!). The photography on Total Super Cuties is generally of a very high quality while still retaining that amateurish girl-next-door look that brought you here in the first place. The girls all look amazing and the photographers and directors sure know what parts of their bodies to focus on. As I mentioned earlier, most of the models either appear semi-nude or not nude at all, with only a small percentage taking everything off. The galleries can get a little repetitive, though; it’d be nice to see some variation in the new content. Neither zip archives nor slideshows used to be available here, but they’ve been added fairly recently and are extremely welcome features.

Total Super Cuties’ video content is, in comparison to the oodles of still galleries, fairly minimal. You can find the videos one of two ways: the exact same way you found the photos (just click on Videos instead, brainiac), or by limiting your model search to View Models with Movies on the main members’ page. Videos come to you in WMV format at resolutions of 640x480 and 720x480. They’re generally quite poorly shot, with shaky camerawork and a distinct lack of professionalism enforcing the idea that Total Super Cuties is primarily a photo site. Some videos show the girls posing for photos, while others show them doing nothing in particular, just walking around their makeshift dressing room looking at clothes they’re considering wearing while some dude behind the camera zooms in on their tits, restrained behind a bra or tank-top, and asks, “So... you gonna wear the pink thing or something else?” Terribly exciting stuff, huh?

The Total Super Cuties of old was littered with annoying banner ads and upsell promotions. This time around, the site is significantly less cluttered. The only consistent ad placement is at the bottom of most pages and is a simple image banner linking you to free preview galleries run by other ‘cute girl getting semi-nude’ sites. As these are free and actually contain something many members might want to see, they’re not really getting in the way. The webmasters have thankfully trimmed most of the fat from Total Super Cuties, leaving it in a state far closer to professional and satisfying than ever before. It’s almost as if they read my last review, agreed that they were running a good site into the ground, and made every single change I suggested. Damn, I’m influential! You’re no longer forced to purchase tokens that buy you zip downloads of the main content: they’re right there on the gallery pages! Gone are the “bonus” sections that tried to legitimize third-party sample content! One major problem still persists, though. The servers are woefully slow and often sit idle for 15 minutes to a half hour at a time. I’ve had to stop reviewing the site three or four times just because I couldn’t access a single gallery page to find out what laid inside. Downloads tend to be quite slow and your browsing capabilities will seize up while you have an active transfer – don’t even think of downloading two items at once; it’s not gonna happen.

A membership to Total Super Cuties will set you back $29.99 per month, which hasn’t changed since Mr. Pink’s last look at the site. Hopefully that’ll be lowered at some point in the near future. Even $5 less would make the site seem all the more attractive. Whaddya say we wrap this up, fellas? Get ready for the (occasionally brutal) truth about Total Super Cuties; comin’ at ya from that bastion of unbiased porno reviews, Mr. Pink!

Pros:
- The girls are pretty damn hot here at Total Super Cuties. They’re playful young broads between the ages of 18 and 23 who just love messing around in front of the camera, always keeping you wanting more.

- There’s a lot of content online, with multiple galleries for each girl (often as many as 50 or 60).

- The site has recently been reworked and is now far better than it used to be.

- Updates generally arrive multiple times a day.

Cons:
- If you’re mostly looking for fully nude photo shoots, you’ll be severely disappointed. The vast majority of content is non-nude or partially nude.

- The videos are usually very poor, with bad lighting and no sense of direction or purpose.

- Total Super Cuties still lacks important information about the models. Where are the bios, profiles, Q&As et al?

- Server issues are still a huge problem; they interrupt your browsing quite frequently and make downloading multiple files almost impossible.

Conclusion:
Writing reviews of pornographic websites can be a tough job. Don’t laugh - I’m serious. You look at hot chicks all day and see your usually high level of sexual frustration rise to intolerable heights. Thankfully, it does have some benefits (aside from looking at hot chicks all day). It’s a real pleasure to revisit a site that once received a rather unfavorable review from yours truly, only to find that the webmasters have seemingly heeded your calls for a total reworking of their online erotic outlet. Guys behind Total Super Cuties, I applaud your dedication to making your site the best it can be. People can now sign up and not be completely dejected by frustrating navigation, design eyesores, and absurd pricing practices. Your site is now almost as attractive as the young hotties you feature. And that’s pretty goddamn attractive!