If you’re an assman, every moment you spend out in public is like research. As you walk down a city street, you must be careful to ogle as many female backsides as possible without ever giving yourself away. A glance here, a peek there, a quick look at a mirrored window; sometimes that’s all it takes to mentally catalog these particular asses in your already well-stocked memory bank of booty. Once you get good at ogling unsuspecting women as they walk, ride, or, even better, run by you, as you pretend to go about your everyday business, the whole world becomes a veritable parade of ass. Few adult websites celebrate this worship of the derriere as gleefully as Ass Parade. Touting “all asses, all the time”, weekly updates, High Definition videos that feature such fantastic pornstars as Alexis Texas, Gianna Michael, Carmella Bing, Naomi, Lacey Duvalle, and Phoenix Marie all shaking their butts for your entertainment, calling itself “the biggest ass-lover website in the whole wide world”, and offering it all, along with the rest of the Bang Bros network on which it resides, for $24.95 a month, Ass Parade could very well be one of the best alternatives to paying susceptible strangers cash money to stand still while you ogle them, hands down your pants. So, Mr. Crumb, what do you think? Should we examine Ass Parade’s collection of big, bootyful women a little more closely? Yeah, I think so, too. So, in the words of Marty DiBergi, “Enough of my yakkin’; whaddya say? Let’s boogie!”

Pros:
Exclusive hardcore porn focusing on the thick butts of the industry’s most luscious pornstars: what’s not to love? Women like Kelly Divine, Rachel Starr, Sara Jay, and, the assiest ass of them all, Alexis Texas are online here and ready to engage in some supremely sweet bootylicious sex.

Like most other Bang Bros sites, Ass Parade now features delightfully vibrant and clear High Definition videos in each update. Hitting a resolution of 1280x720 pixels, these HD MP4s look fantastic and, thanks to the great lighting and solid camerawork by the Bang Bros crew, you get to witness all the asstastic action of the scenes in the most appealing way possible.

With an existing archive of over 300 scenes, there’s already lots to enjoy here at Ass Parade, but additional scenes are still arriving every Monday. What will we do, fellow Ass Parade members, to protect ourselves from this onslaught of ass-heavy hardcore gonzo porn?

Ass Parade members are not just Ass Parade members, they are also Bang Bros members and, as such, can access the wealth of exciting hardcore content available on the so-named network. With 34 sites at your disposal, prepare to spend a lot of time checking out every niche and name the Bang Bros have collected so far.

Cons:
As with most Bang Bros adventures, those taking place in Asstown USA tend to take their sweet, sweet time setting things up. Opening portions of scenes often run far too long and leave you wishing there was a No Intro viewing option that opened on the participants’ first sexual contact and closed immediately after the pop shot.

A handful of the networked bonus sites have slowed their once-weekly updates down to a relative snail’s pace; others have ceased updating altogether. While it’s unlikely that the Bang Bros would neglect fan-favorite Ass Parade to this extent, it’s always a little troubling to see a network discard promising sites in favor of something allegedly fresh.

Although Ass Parade members do have the opportunity to view screencaps and photos showing their favorite big-butted performers physical attributes, these images aren’t anywhere near as impressive as their videographic brethren. Photo content definitely needs a quality increase from its current standing at just 800x536 pixels.

Conclusion:
Those Bang Bros... You know you love their wild and crazy antics, their tendency to run their scenes a little long just to get some extra “laffs” in, and that kinda-funny-kinda-horrifying way they dump unsuspecting participants by the roadside after a quick roll in the Bang Bus, so it should come as no surprise that their Ass Parade website offers, well, more of the same; although this time without the bus. There’s plenty of ass-centric fucking going on here and most of involves some of the hottest women (and asses) in the adult entertainment biz. Throw in a great bonus network and gorgeous HD videos and you’ve got a recipe for pleasing any ass-man who might happen to fork over the required $24.95 for membership.