Overview:
Brazzers: chances are, if you’ve beaten off to online porn in the past decade, you know their name and their fondness for bustacious broads. What you might not know, however, is that the folks behind the Brazzers network have recently committed to joining the High Definition revolution. That’s right, porn fans, you can now view all new Brazzers content at a staggering 1080p – at least, that’s what the tour page promises. (“Brazzers Now in Full HD 1080p; Join Now and Embrace the Future with the Best HD Experience”, it says.) Now, as I’m sure you know, Brazzers’ content is usually quite entertaining; even though their choice of models seems to be a tad outdated, the sex is hot and vigorous enough to overcome the limitations of the genre (the stereotypical big tits, fake moaning, stupid setup style that is so often parodied). I’ve never really thought that the Brazzers team were out to screw anyone. They’re just trying to make an honest living in the smut game, right?

In addition to many mentions of HD content (every preview image has “HD” stamped on it), the Brazzers tour page also lures you in with the promise of new sites (Hot and Mean is the latest), increasing the size of the network to more than 25 niche hardcore sites that touch on lesbianism, anal sex, donkey dicks, MILFs, office workers, teen sluts, public indecency, explosive cumshots, and, of course, large breasts. The network appears to be very well laid out, with lots of information crammed into each page without too much clutter. So with all these hot babes getting their pussies plundered, why are we still outside? Let’s bury our faces between the proverbial boobage of Brazzers and smother ourselves with wet, hot fuck flicks. Whaddya say?

Once logged in, those with full access (i.e. members) will find a nice, cleanly designed homepage dishing out a wealth of information about the network and how best to make use of it. The latest updates are listed with essential information: performer list, niches covered, date uploaded, times viewed and even a user rating. A lot of detail, for sure, and that’s only what’s written. Each update notice is accompanied by a sweet pic that encapsulates the content in a single image. Soon-to-be-added updates are treated exactly the same way (except obviously without the user ratings and times viewed statistics). Menus adorn the left side of the page, giving you direct access to lists of New Scenes, Upcoming Scenes, HD Scenes, Highest Rated Scenes, Most Viewed Scenes, Categories and Random Scenes. There’s also a Brazzers World mini-menu that allows you to access Live Cam Girls (third-party), Brazzers Theater (pay per view video on demand), and Recommendations (unfortunately just advertising and deals for membership to other sites and networks). The menus start to get a little too plentiful, though, when the list continues to cover your Brazzers Mailbox, links to Brazzers Date, Brazzers Reel, and Mofos networks, the online forums and community pages (which I’ll discuss later on), top rated categories, and an alphabetical list of pornstars. The main menu at the top of the page covers the most important links, however, and pushes you to choose between Scenes, Pornstars, Sites, Bonus Content, Community, and the Forum. Before we start yakking it up with fellow pervs, though, let’s devour some meaty, beaty porno movies.

The Pornstars tab leads to a listing of every male and female performer on the network, although you can elect to show one or the other if you prefer. Their default order of listing is by user rating but can be changed to name or number of scenes. A veritable cavalcade of stars have come to work for Brazzers over the years, including Audrey Bitoni, Lisa Ann, Hanna Hilton, Gina Lynn, Sara Jay, and Rebecca Linares. There is a plethora of purty ladies on here and unless you can’t abide augmented breasts, you’ll be a pig in shit. The always-popular Eva Angelina manages to pull in a rating of 9.06 so let’s check her out, shall we?

Eva’s community profile page, as with all models’ pages, is full of information about the woman and her work. You not only get her age and measurements, but also a brief bio and all the categories she touches upon in her scenes (big tits, cum swapping, squirting, etc). Profiles even detail such seemingly insignificant aspects as tattoos and piercings – tidbits that mean a lot to some viewers. This is where Brazzers really impresses me. Sure, lots of other networks have model listings, great videos and hot performances, but it’s the attention to detail that the Brazzers team puts in that makes them quite exceptional. Model profiles have recently been tweaked to make them more similar to social networking style profiles. You’ll find a Facebook-ish “wall” where members can leave notes and comments for the stars to read, as well as links to where you can suggest scenarios and request more scenes from any of the girls. Unfortunately, there’s zero evidence to suggest that any of the performers personally use these profiles for anything. The whole social network aspect is a façade made to convince members that they’re directly in contact with the performers when, of course, that is simply not true.

After selecting a scene, you’ll find a page containing streaming and downloadable videos surrounded by plenty of preview pics to whet your appetite. The streams come to you in both 480p and 720p resolutions. While the 720p version takes a little longer to load, it’s well worth the wait as this stream delivers much stronger and more vibrant images than the 480p (which is still quite decent). Unfortunately, that 720p stream is the closest most members will be getting to High Definition for quite some time. The download options for every single scene on the site are limited to the pre-HD standard of 640x480 pixels (in WMV, MPEG, MP4, and iPod-ready MP4 formats). While these videos certainly don’t look terrible, they’re in direct contradiction to the promises made (either explicitly or implicitly) on the tour page. Upon further investigation, I found out that the 720p and 1080p downloadable videos are only available for a small percentage of the network’s scenes and, even then, are only available to people who have been members for six consecutive months. If you’ll excuse my French, quelle connerie!? This is the kind of misleading advertising and inconsiderate business practice that you’d expect from a multi-nation conglomerate that wants your money and devotion at any cost, not a porno network that pretends to give a shit about their customers.

As for Brazzers’ photo content, both the available galleries - HQ photos and screenshots - can be viewed either in your browser or by downloading a zip archive of all the pics. The photo sets regularly contain over 500 images that sit around the 900x600 pixel mark. Eva Angelina’s Good Cop, Big Cock photo set featured a whopping 852 shots, most of which were great. That amount could be a bit too much for some users but, hey, nobody’s forcing you to keep them all, right? The screenshots usually number slightly less, around 300 to 400, but even that will surely be enough for any pic-obsessed member. As you dip further back into the archives, the level of quality decreases significantly. Older scenes aren’t available in as many video formats and have lower resolutions in addition to lower production values – less flattering lighting, shakier camerawork et al. The image sets don’t have as many pics and might be a little small for some. Generally, though, everything is big and plentiful enough to be satisfactory for all but the most demanding member.

I could alternately rave on about the great user features and community aspect of the Brazzers Network or decry the misleading promises of HD videos, but the most important thing – yes, even more important than Eva Angelina’s bust size or the number of scenes Shyla Stylez appears in - is the sex. Is it hot? Will it get your blood flowing? It sure will. A lot of newer scenes have an added focus on plot and situation, more so than older ones anyway. Personally, I quite like it. While it’s great to have a scene that’s simply a girl walking into a room occupied by three thick cocks and getting her brains fucked out, there’s also something pretty cool about an amusing set-up resulting in some great fucking action. One scene in particular centers around a foxy police detective (our gal Eva) who, gun drawn, happens upon a crime victim. A male cop is involved, there’s something at stake…who cares? It’s nice to have a laugh once in a while, even while waiting for the jizz to start flying. I’m sure some will find it annoying and dull but there’s always the fast forward button or the option of only downloading certain parts of a movie.

One of the strangest things about the recent Brazzers revamp is the Community section. In addition to the aforementioned social networking aspect to the model profiles, the Community also holds photos and video uploaded by your fellow members, almost all of which contain pornographic footage produced by a non-Brazzers party. That raises an intriguing question: isn’t this copyright infringement? Aren’t Brazzers opening themselves up to any number of lawsuits from fellow pornographers who don’t take illegal distribution of their content lightly? Oh well, I suppose you could just enjoy this extra helping of video content while it lasts. You’ll also find video feeds that provide you with umpteen hours of viewing pleasure in any number of hardcore styles. Whatever Brazzers’ motive behind some of their odd business practices, you have to admit that they do deliver a shitload of porno to your desk or laptop. A monthly membership would normally cost $24.95 a month, but Mr. Pink has negotiated a pretty sweet deal for all of his beloved readers. For a short time only, you can sign up for only $19.95. That’s a saving of FIVE BUCKS! Party time! Excellent! Let’s bring this sucker home with some final pos and neg points, eh?

Pros:
- Super hot pornstars in piping hot scenes sucking and fucking thick cocks while their incredible busty chests bounce all over the place before getting covered in cum? Yeah, sounds pretty good to me too.

- Most sites are updated weekly so there’s always going to be a healthy, daily stream of incoming scenes to be enjoyed.

- Plentiful image galleries are a must for the dedicated still image fans out there.

- Tons of bonus content.

- Great site design, navigation and detailed information about every scene and every performer really goes a long way when it comes to making a great porn site.

Cons:
- Older content doesn’t come in as many formats or in as high a quality as newer content.

- A few of the sites are no longer updating with new content.

- Brazzers is definitely guilty of blatant false advertising and fraudulent bait-and-switch practices.

- User uploaded videos that break copyright? Surely that’s not kosher.

- The way the HD videos are set up – you must be a 6-month member to access ANY 720p or 1080p videos – is misleading to the potential member and leads to a distrust of the webmasters.

Conclusion:
The guys and girls behind Brazzers aren’t known for their modesty. They’re loud, kinda obnoxious, and brazen in their shooting style, but that’s all part of their charm. Their claim of being “the world’s best porn site” isn’t far off. While they may not be the absolute kings of online porn, these guys have done an damn solid job. Content is very fine across the whole network and they’ve raked in some superbig superstars to ensure the quality stays at this high level. Their dedication to detail really makes them stand out from the ever-increasing crowd of crummy, disinterested webmasters and this translates into satisfied customers. One does wonder, however, how their somewhat duplicitous claims of all new 1080p HD content will affect their standing, both against their contemporaries and in the eyes of their fans. If Brazzers really wants to be top dog, HD videos must be available to everyone. Why wait? Start now, Brazzers, before it’s too late.