Hands On Hardcore review

There’s nothing quite like getting your hands dirty and no adult site seems eager to soil your cleanliness than Hands on Hardcore, which claims to hold “gobs of shocking evil...numerous other forms of perverse, debauched, sinful, lewd, and orgiastic degeneracy, undoubtedly involving, but not by any means limited to pictures of beautiful women with no clothes on.” Just what does that mean for you, dear reader and potential Hands on Hardcore subscriber? Well, that little piece of title text that sits in the top bar of your browser window - no, above the address and toolbar, yes, way up there - contains words like threesomes, teens, blowjobs, hardcore sex, cumshot, facial, anal, pissing, amateurs, lesbians, and, uh, legs. From the looks of the web design - dark red, filled with flames and pseudo-gothic typography - this is one hardcore porn site that won’t be shying away from the more extreme end of the sexual spectrum, so let’s throw down the hypothetical $26.95 monthly membership cost and see if, at least this once, you can believe the hype.

Pros:
Split into seven main categories - Female Male Male, Male Male Female, Boy/Girl Classic, 100% Anal, Boy/Girl Anal, Gang Bang, and Interracial - the Hands on Hardcore archives present a substantial array of sexual styles and pornographic niches. With everything from tender hetero lovemaking to rowdy, raucous group sex, there’s something here for every hardcore fan.

Video and photo content is of a high quality and comes in a handful of different formats that should suit any member. Photos reach three resolutions (532x800, 799x1200, and 1331x2000) and look great while videos are generally offered in WMV, MOV, and MP4 formats, the largest of which are the 1280x720 pixel WMV and MOV files. These HD videos look very good and present everything in a clear, dynamic manner.

The rest of the sites on the DDF Productions network are available to all Hands on Hardcore members. With such niches as big-breasts, European lesbians, blowjobs, foot and leg fetishism, and extreme taboos, DDF Productions offers a wealth of content that caters to almost any porn fan’s particular taste. (You’ll have to join through the DDF Prod page for network access, so why not head over and check out my review of that site.)

Hands on Hardcore not only covers a nice variety of niche hardcore content, but it also holds quite an extensive archive, too. With over 600 scenes currently online, and more arriving twice a week (video and photo combo updates), there’s plenty to see and do here.

Cons:
The web design, while suitably debaucherous and sinful, tends to look quite, well, naff. (Look it up!) Perhaps this is just personal preference, but I think there’s a healthy medium to be found here, where the design doesn’t overpower your browsing (and is of a smaller, more manageable size) but still looks great.

Older Hands on Hardcore content doesn’t equal the impressive quality of the more recent updates. Of course, this is an obvious and largely unavoidable problem due to the evolving nature of technology, but it’s definitely worth mentioning.

Everything hosted by Hands on Hardcore is original and exclusive. “Why is that a negative, you dolt?” Well, it’s a negative because the house style of DDF Productions consists of bland, flat lighting, excessive makeup jobs, and a rather dull shooting style. Some folks love it. Others do not.

Photo galleries may provide three image resolutions, but only one is available for zipped download. What’s the deal? Also, what’s the deal with the video streams? They must be completely loaded before you’re able to jump ahead to steamier sections of the scene.

Conclusion:
For those of you sick to death of tepid “hardcore” porn that merely whets your appetite as opposed to satisfying it, Hands on Hardcore could very well be your salvation. If you have no problem with the somewhat banal shooting and lighting style or if you can get over whatever problem you do have, you shouldn’t find Hands on Hardcore to be anything other than thrilling. The models are mostly European and definitely love getting their hands dirty (along with various other body parts). They fuck, lick, fist, finger, suck, and swallow with great enthusiasm and it’s a joy to watch each new scene arrive. Apart from the few negative aspects to membership pointed out in the Cons section of this review, there’s little reason to dissuade you, dear reader, from pursuing your most prurient interests at Hands on Hardcore.