Hustler review

As a young man perhaps excessively interested in the nude female form, I took almost every opportunity I could to take possession of an adult publication and ogle the women it featured. From an abandoned copy of Celebrity Skin I once found on a train to the issues of Playboy stacked high at the newsstand and begging to be purchased, I tried to peek inside every flesh rag I knew existed. Some, however, were more appealing than others, and Hustler was the most appealing of all. Before I knew of Larry Flynt’s trail-blazing first amendment-protecting legal battles and saw Courtney Love OD-ing in a bathtub as Flynt’s wife Althea, I knew that Hustler was the porn mag with the most explicit content. Fahgeddabout Playboy. Fahgeddabout Penthouse. Hustler was the men’s magazine that knew exactly how much to show - i.e.: more than the others. Now that Hustler has ventured into the world of apparel, strip-clubs, home video, casinos, and online entertainment, it falls to me, Mr. Pink, to enter and examine all that Hustler’s flagship website, the aptly named Hustler dot com, provides you, its potential subscriber, with during your first and perhaps only month of membership; which, incidentally, will normally cost you $29.95, although I have a feeling a discount might be on hand for faithful Mr. Pink’s readers.

Pros:
Hustler’s website offers a wide variety of hardcore content, from straight fucking to anal, gangbangs, lesbian scenes, BDSM, and even a huge helping of completely absurd porn parodies that tackle such entertainment staples as The Partridge Family, Happy Days, Celebrity Apprentice, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and even I Love Lucy with Audrey Hollander showing us that Lucy and Ricky Ricardo are far more sexually adventurous than we once thought.

Hustler is now adding HD videos with most updates and damn do they look snazzy! About six new content items arrive each week, averaging three galleries and two or three DVDs, each DVD bringing between two and five scenes with it. There’s already a huge archive of almost a thousand DVD titles online, so you’ll have plenty to enjoy.

As a Hustler member, you not only get uninhibited access to the entire collection of video and photo content held here, but also to Hustler Taboo, Barely Legal, and a smattering of other niche sites, and a ten-year archive of Hustler back issue pictorials.

Once again, Mr. Pink has managed to snag his readers a membership discount, this time bringing Hustler’s usual $29.95 monthly cost down to just $19.95. I saved you ten bucks, dude, so you best appreciate.

Cons:
Only newest videos offer HD resolutions and it can be difficult to determine which without looking at every single scene. Just because it’s new doesn’t mean it’ll be in HD, and recently added scenes often come from slightly older, non-HD sources, giving you rather lackluster video quality.

Navigation could be a little better. If, for example, you’re trying to hunt down more Eva Angelina scenes in which she takes it in the ass, you’ll have to open every one of Eva’s scenes and read the keyword tags; there’s no multi-criteria search function.

The online versions of Hustler magazine don’t feature anything but the pictorials, so if you were hoping to read ‘Silent Bob Speaks’, or ‘John Cusack on War Inc.’ you’re shit outta luck!

Content appears to be shared across many sites in the network and some DVDs appear for viewing and download on other adult sites, having been licensed from Hustler, rendering them non-exclusive here. Other content is exclusive, it’s just not clear what is or isn’t.

Conclusion:
Having always been fond of Hustler’s head honcho, founder, and most notable mouthpiece, Larry Flynt, Mr. Pink is relieved to inform you, dear reader, that Hustler’s website, the one review right here on this very page, is an almost unequivocal success. Aside from a few nagging issues - questionable exclusivity, unimpressive older video quality, and a navigation system that needs a little attention being chief among them - Hustler dot com makes a bold impression that doesn’t just reiterate the reasons we loved Hustler in the first place, it expands on them and makes a strong name for itself as a hardcore haven full of nutty porn parodies and incredible sex scenes.